Jordan Shiveley: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of ARE YOU READY FOR THE SEX GIRLS?
Shiveley: THE HOT HOT LEAN HOT BIG HOT GIRLS?
Shiveley: THE RIGHT RIGHT ULTRA VITAL NICE NICE GIRLS?
Shiveley: OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY
Shiveley: MADE FRESH FOR YOUR ORDER
Shiveley: TEETH TEETH BLOOD TEETH TEETH TEETH V O I D
Shiveley: TEETH TEETH TEETH TEETH HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU
Shiveley: TEETH LISTEN CAREFULLY THIS OFFER ONLY COMES ONCE ...
Lyndsey Coal: ahoy there minnows!
Dean Koontz: aye aye cap'n!
Croal: I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUU
Koontz: AYE AYE, CAP'N!
Barker: oh we're doing this bit again? ok
Croal: OHHHHHH
Croal: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the girl with barnacles for eyes
Croal: ok so imagine that there's a seaside town
Croal: where evie works
Croal: laying deliveries down
Croal: They say evie fetch another round
Croal: She serves them oatcake...
Jordan Kurella: [scrimshawing a narwal tusk] ahoy there minnows
Dean Koontz: aye aye, cap'n!
Kurella: I CAN'T HEAR YOUUUUUUU
Koontz: AYE AYE, CAP'N!
Kurella: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Kurella: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, this be the tale of the vice shark
Kurella: tis about a shark that feeds on the milk of human depravity and sin
Clive Barker: where can one find this shark
Kurella: ah interested in getting yer wish granted, eh, landlubber?
Barker:...
Theresa C. Gaynord: i just want to say,i support trump 100% doing anything
Gaynord: i don't care how many children he has to murder, how many grandmothers he has to terrorize
Gaynord: it's all worth it, to finally get the rogue state of COMMIEfornia under control
Gaynord: do you know they're shitting in the streets in san Francisco?
Gaynord: what's the problem?
Gaynord: you don't like seeing your neighbors get deported to foreign gulags?
Gaynord: well don't worry there's ...
Leonora Carrington: tea spoons and jelly spoons
Carrington: i'm going to tell you about something i know nothing about
Carrington: one sunny night two dead boys woke up to face each other back to back
Carrington: if you don't believe me, ask the blind man
Carrington: he saw it
Carrington: now pull up a chair and sit on the floor
Carrington: and we'll discuss the four corners of the round table
Carrington: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this ...
2025-06-08 16:16:05 +0000 UTC View Post[space coven]
Mary Robinette Kowal: listen up, boys!
Kowal: I've got a story for you… the story of the lady astronaut!
Kowal: that's right
Kowal: a lady wants to be an astronaut
Kowal: how about that?!
Kowal: while working for jim Henson productions, i was inspired by that great space explorer miss piggy to ask: what if women could go to space?
Kowal: i would call it
Kowal: GIRLS IN SPAAAAAAAAACE
Kowal: with captain Lass Her-throb
Kowal: first mate girly
...
Poe: you know we've been talking an awful lot about elon musk lately
Poe: maybe we should get back to horror stuff
Poe: after all
Poe: that's kinda our reason for being
Barker: yeah but maybe
Barker: maybe we can do ONE more elon thread
Barker: just as a treat
Poe: come on clive i think people are tired of elon
Poe: is there really anything we can say that's funnier than what's actually happening?
Barker: yeah but
Barker: c'mon! just one more!
Barker: just ...
King: hey uh
King: where's elon?
Barker: why? do you want him here?
King: NO
King: no i mean
King: he's usually here
King: it's not like him to not show up
Poe: we moved the campfire without telling him
King: that usually doesn't stop him
King: i dunno guys
King: heck i can't believe i'm saying it
King: i'm worried about him
King: what if he's in trouble?
Poe: i'm sure he's fine, steve
Poe: he'll come home when he gets hungry
Barker: for ketamin...
Natasha Lyonne: hey guys so david lynch couldn't be here tonight so he wanted me to tell you all that he thinks AI generated art is the future
King:
Barker:
Poe:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
King: really? david lynch said that?
Poe: steve
Lyonne: oh yeah he especially loved it when people made incomprehensible loops of random mutating sludge and said it was in the style of david lynch
Lyonne: he was just over the moon about that
Lyonne: thought it was tops
...
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i am here to tell you about my new womensss conferenccce
Rowling: where we will finally end the tyranny of orgasssmsss
Barker: what
Barker: what the fuck
Barker: this time, you've gone too far rowling!!
Rowling: sssee, having orgasssmss releasess thetanss in the blood
Rowling: which upss your orgone level
Rowling: leading to increassed midichlorianss
Rowling: it's all very ssscientific
Rowling: the important thing to unde...
2025-06-03 22:29:03 +0000 UTC View Post[space coven]
Robert Heinlein: people, i'm afraid that the situation on earth is hopeless
Heinlein: elon musk has been ejected from the government and with him dies the dream of a utopian libertarian outpost on Mars free from the tyranny of age of consent laws
Heinlein: it's up to us now gentlemen
Heinlein: we are the ones who must get humanity to mars
Heinlein: i need answers people
Heinlein: how do we get our intrepid red-blooded space marines to mars before the for...
2025-06-01 19:11:28 +0000 UTC View PostElon Musk: eyyy stephano king
Musk: now that i'ma no worka at doge
Musk: i haffa more time to forra da important things
Stephen King: oh, like your family?
Musk:
Musk: no
Musk: notta dat
Musk: no that ima no atta da doge, i can spenda my time onna da more important things inna life
Musk: like i maka da grok racist
King: that can't possibly take up THAT much of your time
Musk: also drugs
King: oh yeah, that would fill the hours
Musk: eyyyy st...
2025-05-31 01:48:14 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of
Elon Musk [rising from bushes]: eyyyy stephano king
King: oh it's elon
King: i thought you were busy with doge
Musk: eyyy i'm done witha that
Musk: so more time to spenda with my best amigo stephano king!
King:
King: are you
King: are you sure you don't have more you want to do with doge
Poe: steve don't say that
King: edgar do not test me
King: i swear to go...
Chuck Tingle: good evening, my good chums
King: oh excellent! it's chuck tingle!
King: he's great, he's always so funny
Tingle: actually, chums, this is serious horror
King: what
King: what? you're not doing funny erotica anymore?
Tingle: i never did funny erotica, chum
King: i
King: what?
Tingle: that was serious erotica
King: i
King: what?
Barker: boy, was it!
Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, i call this the tale of camp Damasc...
2025-05-28 16:36:26 +0000 UTC View PostArthur Machen: submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the bowman
Machen: about how some ghostly Agincourt archers appeared out of the heavens to save a troop of British soldiers in world war 1
King: oh yeah the angels of mons, I've heard of them
Machen: of course you have
Machen: because i invented them
Machen: just now
King: no no I've heard of them
King: it's a well-known legend
Machen: it's not a legend!
Lovecraft: That's r...
Darren Aronofsky: hey it's me Darren aronofsky, the doyenne of psychological horror
Aronofsky: you may remember me from such innovative psychological horror concepts like
Aronofsky: "what if you had some really annoying houseguests"
Aronofsky: or
Aronofsky: "what if a guy was really fat"
Aronofsky: but then I realized
Aronofsky: why am i wasting my time thinking of ideas like a chump?
Aronofsky: a computer could do that just as good as i could
Poe:
King:
Koont...
JA Johnstone: Submitted for the approval, I call this the tale of the blue state bloodsuckers invading real america
JA Johnstone: they ruined the blue states with their nanny state nattering
JA Johnstone: now antifa supersoliders are going to execute all the small business owners in the town square
JA Johnstone: they're coming from blue states to loot and rape
Clive Barker: oh yeah? who exactly is coming?
JA Johnstone: you know
JA Johnstone:
JA Johnstone: you kno...
William W Johnstone: tonight, my nephew is going to help me tell a story
JA Johnstone: you bet, unca will!
Stephen King: aw isn't that cute?
King: i remember the first time i had joe help me tell a story
King: anyone want to see a picture of my boy joe?
King: spitting image of his old man, he is!
William W Johnstone: go right ahead, JA, tell the story like we discussed
Johnstone: i'll be right here if you need me
Johnstone: writing 12 simultaneous new potboil...
Eve Harms: we've got a story tonight
Mariah Darling: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, we call this the tale of the chasers
Barker: does it involve a sketchy online ad
Darling: no it does not
Harms: but it could have!
Darling: eve
Harms: it could have!!!
Darling: it's about a trans woman trying to find an apartment in LA
Darling: i mean, you know how it is getting an apartment in LA
Dennis Etchison: do i ever!!
King: i don't know what it's li...
Cat Voleur: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the revenge arc
Voleur: it's about a woman who makes a webcomic about dark web tortures
Voleur: but when her biggest fan starts to take things too seriously
Voleur: things start to get
Voleur: TOO real
Voleur: it's an epistolary novel
Bram Stoker: yes
Voleur: about sketchy internet stuff
Eve Harms: yes
Voleur: you gotta watch yourself on the dark web
Voleur: or you might...
Hugo Gernsback: hey everyone its me, hugo gernsback
Gernsback: editor of Amazing Stories and namesake of the hugo awards
Gernsback: perhaps you've heard of them?
Clive Barker: oh buddy
Barker: buddy
Barker: we've heard all about them ha ha
Gernsback: ah yes my precious hugo awards!
Gernsback: the most prestigious award in science fiction and fantasy!
Gernsback: a place for serious business
Gernsback: certainly no room for shenanigans here
Gernsback: no room fo...
Stephen King: happy harry potter day everyone!
Barker: what
King: today is the day that we remember all the brave souls who lay done their lives for the battle of hogwarts
Barker:
Barker: what
King: ok look
King: i know that JK Rowling's kinda problematic these days
Barker: uh huh
King: but not even JK Rowling can ruin my enjoyment of Harry Potter day!
Barker: oh i bet she'll try
King: but see if we just separate art from artist
King: and i mean it's not...
HP Lovecraft: everyone, this is harry Houdini the famous magician
Harry Houdini: hey
Stephen King: you know harry Houdini?
Lovecraft: oh yeah we've been looking for a project to work on together for a while
King:
Lovecraft: we already established he's not really italian
King: so you must really believe in magic, huh?
Houdini: nope!
King: nope?
Houdini: it's all flim-flammery!
King: flim flimmery?!
Houdini: and tomfoolery!
King: well i knew it was flim fl...
Jude Cook: for too long, the literary world has been dominated by women
Cook: people have been asking 'when will men have a chance?'
Cook: well guess what
Cook: men, your time has finally arrived
Cook: if you think about it, men have really been shortshrifted in the whole book thing
Cook: when was the last time that you heard about a man writing a book?
Lovecraft:
King:
Poe:
Koontz:
Barker:
Barker: tell us more
Cook: gladly!
Cook: look, i'm just sa...
2025-04-29 18:05:53 +0000 UTC View Post[a scottish castle with a 4 foot fence]
JK Rowling: finally!
Rowling: after yearss of sstruggle, i have achieved my life goal
Rowling: to be the final arbiter of lesssbianisssm
Rowling: i'm not gonna let some uppity lessbianss tell me what they are!
Rowling: but what'ss next for JK Rowling?
Kathleen Stock: dark lord, its time for a new era in evil
Stock: it's time to pivot to racism
Rowling: a brilliant gambit! no one will sssee it coming!
Rowling: well actually ...
Ryan Coogler: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the sinners
Coogler: so you ever watch a movie where for the first half you think you're watching one kind of movie
Coogler: but then in the third reel suddenly its about vampires doing a siege on a bar?
Quentin Tarantino: oh yeah yeah definitely
Tarantino: who hasn't?
Coogler: have you ever thought about the incredible power of music?
Coogler: music can bring heal the afflicted, soo...
It turns out that there's video footage of the LIVE at Babscon reading of the Legend of Lauren Faust! Here's a little treat for you party people! You can barely even tell that I'm drunk here XD
Lauren Faust = Cosmic Keyframe
Dean Koontz = The Looney Turtle
HP Lovecraft = Nat
Mary Shelley = SonyaLynn
Edgar Allen Poe = Bitter Karella
Stephen King = TheHungryReader
Clive Barker = Princess Deadpool
JK Rowling = AkiNeko
Elon Musk: eeeey Stephano king maybe i tella da story
King: i didn't know you wrote stories, elon
Musk: i paid someone to
Musk: i mean uhhh
Musk: si!
Musk: submit for-a da approval offa da midnight society, i gotta real scary story
Musk: mama mia itsa gonna scare the lasagna right outta you face!
Musk: i-a calla dis story da tale offa da roko's basilisk
Barker: boooo
Poe: clive he hasn't started yet
Barker: booo! get off the stage! boooo!
Musk: mama mia ...
2025-04-24 17:07:55 +0000 UTC View PostElon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy Stephano king!
Stephen King: what is it now elon
Musk: eyyy i decide to steppa back from doge
Musk: now i haffa much more time to hang with my besta bud Stephano king
King:
King:
King:
Poe: steve why is elon musk here
King: it wasn't my idea
Musk: eyyy checka this out
Musk: [attempts to roll a joint, immediately eats shit. it is not clear what move he was trying to make]
Poe: steve we talked about this
Poe: you ca...
This past weekend, I participated in a live Midnight Pals reading at BABScon 2025 aka the last My Little Pony convention. It was a lot of fun, and if you missed it, you can read the script for yourself here! Also enjoy this relevant ponified pic of the main pals by Aki Neko!
2025-04-21 22:02:20 +0000 UTC View Post